Why bragging will get you nowhere

你是社交網(wǎng)絡(luò)上的“大話(huà)王”嗎？

導(dǎo)讀：生活中，大話(huà)王（braggart）最討人嫌，可是不知不覺(jué)間，我們竟然開(kāi)始用夸張的語(yǔ)言打造自己的網(wǎng)絡(luò)形象。在瘋狂吹噓的背后，其實(shí)是一種自我營(yíng)銷(xiāo)的手段。

Nobody likes a braggart. They dominate conversations and only talk about themselves. They self-promote shamelessly in order to get ahead in their careers.

沒(méi)人喜歡大話(huà)王。他們喜歡侃侃而談，而且只愛(ài)自說(shuō)自話(huà)。他們不知羞恥地自我吹捧，只為了在職場(chǎng)上搶先一步。

But according to a recent column in The Wall Street Journal, we might all be braggarts in this competitive society obsessed with social networking.

然而，《華爾街日?qǐng)?bào)》最新的一篇專(zhuān)欄文章中提到，在競(jìng)爭(zhēng)激烈的社會(huì)中，沉迷于社交網(wǎng)絡(luò)中的我們或許都會(huì)成為大話(huà)王。

Don't believe it? Take a close look at your social-networking sites. Do you like to post photos of yourself in restaurants and nightclubs to show others what an exciting life you have? Or if you are in a relationship, do you like to write about how happily in love you are? Or perhaps you are of the subtletype who constantly complain about their jobs but really just want to impress others with the important position they have.

不相信？可以好好看看你的那些社交網(wǎng)站。你喜歡上傳自己享受美食、混跡夜店的照片，只為大秀自己的快意人生嗎？熱戀中的你，愿意分享自己沐浴愛(ài)河的快樂(lè)嗎？也許你十分低調(diào)，只是像其他人那樣不斷抱怨工作罷了。但實(shí)際上，你這樣做只是為了顯示自己身居要職，給別人留下深刻印象罷了。

The Internet provides a global audience for boasting and social media sites encourage it, says Elizabeth Bernstein, a columnist with the Wall Street Journal. We are all expected to be perfect all the time. The result is that more and more people are carefully managing their online images.

《華爾街日?qǐng)?bào)》的專(zhuān)欄記者伊麗莎白？伯恩斯坦表示，互聯(lián)網(wǎng)為我們吹牛提供了全球受眾，社交媒體網(wǎng)站則起到推波助瀾的作用。我們都希望自己時(shí)刻保持完美，結(jié)果就是，越來(lái)越多的人開(kāi)始精心打造自己的網(wǎng)絡(luò)形象。

But the issue is not limited to the Internet. In a fiercely competitive job market we must sell ourselves on multiple platforms and demonstrate that we excel above all others.

但是，吹牛這個(gè)問(wèn)題并非局限在互聯(lián)網(wǎng)上。在競(jìng)爭(zhēng)激烈的職場(chǎng)中，我們必須在多個(gè)平臺(tái)上推銷(xiāo)自己，證明我們比其他人更優(yōu)秀。

In fact, we have become so accustomed to boasting that we don't even realize we are doing it, says Bernstein. This is harmful to our relationships and puts people off.

伯恩斯坦表示，事實(shí)上，我們已經(jīng)太習(xí)慣于自夸了，甚至連自己都沒(méi)有意識(shí)到。這對(duì)我們的人際關(guān)系可以說(shuō)是有百害而無(wú)一利，令人反感。

So why do we keep at it?

那么，為何我們還要繼續(xù)大話(huà)連篇呢？

Bernstein talked to a few experts who said that people brag for all sorts of reasons: to appear worthy of attention or love, or to cover up our deepest insecurities; to prove to ourselves we are doing fine and that people who said we would fail are wrong; or simply because we're excited when good things happen to us.

伯恩斯坦與一些專(zhuān)家就此進(jìn)行了討論，他們認(rèn)為人們出于各種各樣的原因來(lái)炫耀：為了彰顯自己值得關(guān)注或被愛(ài)；為了掩蓋內(nèi)心深處的不安全感；為了向自己證明，我們做得不錯(cuò)，那些曾預(yù)言我們注定失敗的人是錯(cuò)的；或是僅僅因?yàn)楫?dāng)好事降臨時(shí)，我們會(huì)興奮。

Talking about ourselves just feels great. According to the results of a series of experiments conducted by Harvard University neuroscientists, the reward areas of our brain–the same areas that respond to “primary rewards” such as food and sex–are activated when we talk about ourselves.

談?wù)撟约旱母杏X(jué)真是太美妙了。哈佛大學(xué)神經(jīng)系統(tǒng)學(xué)家們做了一系列實(shí)驗(yàn)，結(jié)果顯示，我們大腦的“獎(jiǎng)勵(lì)區(qū)”──也就是對(duì)食物和性等“主要獎(jiǎng)勵(lì)”做出反應(yīng)的區(qū)域──在我們談?wù)撟约旱臅r(shí)候會(huì)被激活。

We devote between 30 to 40 percent of our conversation time to doing just that, according to the study, which did not focus on boasting specifically but on sharing things about ourselves.

該研究表明，我們30%到40%的談話(huà)時(shí)間都花在自己身上了。該研究關(guān)注的并非自夸炫耀而是與他人分享自我。

Unfortunately, Bernstein says, some people cannot seem to tell the difference between sharing positive information that others might actually want to know and downright bragging. She suggests that bragging involves comparison, whether stated or implied. So you might want to refrain from discussing college courses with your former primary school classmate who failed to get into college.

伯恩斯坦指出，遺憾的是，有些人好像分不清分享其他人想知道的正面信息和大肆炫耀的區(qū)別。她認(rèn)為，炫耀涉及到了與他人比較，有的直截了當(dāng)，有的暗含其中。因此，在同沒(méi)能升入大學(xué)的小學(xué)同學(xué)交談時(shí)，你或許會(huì)可以避免觸及有關(guān)大學(xué)課程方面的話(huà)題。

So, how do you deal with an obnoxious braggart?

那么，如何對(duì)待一個(gè)令人生厭的大話(huà)精呢？

“Feel sorry for them, because they're doing this impulsive, destructive thing that won't help them in the long run,” Simine Vazire, a research psychologist and associate professor at Washington University, said according to the column. Research on self-enhancement shows that people who bragmake a good first impression, but the effect diminishes over time.

該文章還提到了華盛頓大學(xué)研究心理學(xué)家斯明？瓦茲副教授的原話(huà)：“我很為他們感到惋惜，因?yàn)閺拈L(zhǎng)遠(yuǎn)來(lái)看，他們這種沖動(dòng)有害的做法不會(huì)有好處?！睂?duì)自我提升的研究表明，大話(huà)王給人的第一印象不錯(cuò)，但隨著時(shí)間推移，這種好印象會(huì)漸漸消退。